An icky stomach bug

I'll never complain about going to school on a Monday again...

My morning consisted of me initially thinking that I was just a little queasy, and it turned into me writhing around on my bed for half an hour, convincing myself that I was not going to throw up (even though that probably would've been the best thing for me at the time). Then I moved to the couch, and at first that seemed better, but it quickly got even worse. So I took a nice bath and then a short nap.

When I woke up, my stomach issues were a little better, but in its place was a 101.3 fever. My mom keeps chocolate ice cream in the freezer, so I had to will myself not to get it out since milk products are horrible for an upset stomatch. And yet... chocolate ice cream. :-(

I took another hour-long bath about an hour ago, and now my fingers are all wrinkled but I feel so much better. It was either the bath or the Tylenol that did it... or maybe both.

Maybe my mom will let me have a little chocolate ice cream tonight if I can convince her that I'm not that sick anymore. Lol.

Reflection day

No school today.
No family or anyone in the house.
No priorities or responsibilities until this evening.
Nothing but time to just reflect on life.

I can't remember the last time I had a whole day to myself... it seems like eons ago. Granted, I'll probably be working on scholarship applications or trying to accomplish something, but I just love the fact that I'll get a chance to recharge today with some alone time. (You can see my introversion showing...)

I think I'll start by frying some eggs for breakfast and watching a movie.

Peace.

All INFJ up in here!

With all of the recent hullabaloo over personality types, I thought I'd share a little bit about mine: INFJ.

"The INFJ type is believed to be very rare (less than 1 percent of the population) and it has an unusual set of traits. Even though their presence can be described as very quiet, INFJ personalities usually have many strong opinions, especially when it comes to issues they consider really important in life. If an INFJ is fighting for something, this is because they believe in the idea itself, not because of some selfish reasons."

Hmm... interesting. A lot of that is actually really true to me. It seems like I'm either super passionate about an idea or concept or not passionate at all about it.

"INFJs are masters of written communication, with a distinctively smooth and warm language. In addition, the sensitivity of INFJs allows them to connect to others quite easily. Their easy and pleasant communication can often mislead bystanders, who might think that the INFJ is actually a very sociable person."

Also very true...

"INFJs take great care of other people’s feelings and expect others to return the favor. Unsurprisingly, people with this personality type are very sensitive and vulnerable to conflicts – even the most rational INFJs may find it quite difficult to not take criticism personally. This is the INFJ’s Achilles’ heel – if someone with an INFJ personality cannot escape the conflict, they will do their best to deal with it head on, but this will result in a lot of stress and may also potentially lead to health problems or highly irrational behavior."

OK, someone tapped my freakin' mind. 

Looking for grace

Society tells me to pick out the bad things about people.

The media teaches me to pick out the bad things about people.

Politics teaches me to pick out the bad things about people.

Even some of the conversations that I have with my closest friends are nothing more than us ranting about someone else. (And then ironically we'll turn around and have a conversation with that person and rant about yet another person.)

I think there's no doubt that it's just human nature for us to find the negatives of everyone else to make us feel more secure. But what good does that really do us in the end? It covers up our own insecurities and prevents us from ever working those out.

Now, I think there are appropriate times to vent about certain people if they've directly done something to hurt you or make you angry. That's fine, and we need friends to help us feel better about that. However, I wish that all of us - including myself - could just take a breather and look for grace in the people around us. Just because we heard a rumor about someone from his or her best friend's friend doesn't mean that we need to collectively bash them to make us feel better.

It's just not healthy in the long run. And sometimes the healthiest thing is not easy to do.

I mean, willing myself to not eat a cupcake is pretty tough to do...

The week in a nutshell... or maybe a nut.

Monday starts off with a glorious 2-hour delay, which results in one of those lazy days at school where teachers don't assign much. I go to Oskaloosa that night for a Teen Council meeting, go to McDonald's, have a conversation with an old friend that almost makes me cry, go to Wal-Mart and talk with my friends about how our SENIOR YEAR is almost over, and then come home.

Tuesday. What did I do on Tuesday? ... Oh yeah. Early jazz, and then a conversation at Val's after school. I was feeling particularly moody at that point, so my bad if I seemed like a bit of a jerk while we were sitting on that wondrous leather sofa. My family and I went to my grandparents' house that night, and my grandma spoiled me with pizza, cupcakes, pretzels, and candy. I'm blessed to have the grandparents I do. :)

Wednesday... blood drive. I wasn't as nervous about donating blood this time around since I've done it once before, but when the lady told me that I had a temperature of 100.3 I thought I wasn't going to be able to give this time. She took it again and said that it was 98.7... weird.

Thursday was kind of boring. Actually, it was so boring that I made a list of things to do when I got home from school - practice for my jazz solo, work on scholarships, memorize stuff for mock trial, film my baby goats for a Spanish project, etc. (Speaking of goats... y'all need to come over some time and see all of the little animals in our barn before they get big and ugly. Lol.)

Today was a good day to end the week on. While I'm disappointed that I didn't get the University of Iowa Presidential Scholarship, I did find out that I'm still getting a grand total of $14,000 or so from Iowa for my first year of college! That leaves me with like $6,000 in estimated expenses, and I'm hoping that I can easily cover that if I manage to get some of the other scholarships I've been applying for. Looking back on it, I'm really happy that I worked hard for my grades in high school. There were times when I didn't see the point of it all, but now that I'm getting money from a university without even having to fill out an application, I can see its worth.

Now my parents and I are going to see my grandma over on the other side of Oskaloosa... and tomorrow is the second-to-last competition for jazz band this year. I'm sad thinking about it, but as Dr. Seuss said... "Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."

:)

Discussions

I love intense, involved discussions with my friends. I love discussions where we talk about things that people just don't normally talk about. I even like it when discussions make me feel uncomfortable or nervous, because in the end it makes me realize something about myself or something about someone else.

I had two discussions tonight with two different friends. One of these discussions was with a friend that I hadn't sat down and talked deeply with for a long time... and the other discussion was with a friend who just completely relates to me.

In the case of the first friend, I found that she had been praying for me years ago, and I just didn't know it. I nearly cried when I heard her say that.

And now I'm sitting here, typing this really quickly and just letting all of the words flow across the keystrokes. Good discussions make me feel energized.

Peace. :)

Go home winter, you're drunk.

Really though. Winter has now decided to screw up my plans for Saturday night Bible study. UGGGGGGGHHHHHHH THAT'S LIKE MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE WEEK.

On the bright side, some guy from Iowa requested me as a roommate today and after some back and forth e-mails I decided that he seemed cool. He's a biochemistry major that plans on going to med school though, so I'm getting a little nervous at the prospect of having a really smart person rooming with me. Atleast he's liberal.

This lull also means that I have no excuse to not finish the Pella Corp Scholarship... I guess I know what I'm going to be doing tonight!