Discontent

I hate this feeling.

I hate knowing that, even though I prayed and hoped for people to open their hearts up, nothing really ended up changing in anyone.

I hate it that a friendship that I've tried so hard to build is crumbling and that there's really nothing left to do but let it down softly.

I hate it that in a little less than four days, I'm going to have to revert to my summer phase where I show sheep and goats, live my little secluded life at home, and try to live up to standards that I have continuously forced myself to do for years on end - only to not reach them, like always.

I hate this feeling.

And it's not going away.