Turning the Page

What a weird week this has been.

First of all, it hasn't even felt like a week. It feels like I'm having a continuous weekend that is strung together by a few exams that I have to take. And for the record, I'm fairly certain that I've pulled off a B+ in Calculus. I will find out in a few days, but refer back to some of my previous blog posts to see how egregiously worried I have been about it...

Second, I'm having a little trouble realizing that in about 36 hours, I will have completed my first semester at the University of Iowa. It feels sort of surreal. A year ago at this time, I couldn't even begin to imagine how on earth I would manage in a place that was *gasp* not New Sharon! I'm still kind of laughing at how stressed out I was. Granted, I'm still always stressed out about something, but damn it, I love my university and I've loved the experience so far. Bring on Chapter 2.

Speaking of my hometown... I will always like my hometown. It will always bring back nostalgia. But I'm honestly not looking forward to returning to it. I love a few of the people there. I like the fact that my bed will always be my bed (this is actually a big deal, because even though I'm calling my dorm room home, the bed still doesn't feel right for some reason). But it's not my life anymore. And it feels as though I am putting on some hat for four and a half weeks where I pretend to revert back to my previous lifestyle even though that's going to be literally impossible.

I'm also just going through a lot of odd heartaches and angers right now. Most of them are little petty things that I can get over in time, but at one point I had an awful lot of negativity directed towards God, and even though I can say now that this was wrong, reaching that point on Monday night was kind of scary. I am working to get back on track after this faltering early in the week, but prayers would still be appreciated.

If you're reading this blog and you will be in New Sharon over Christmas break, I would much appreciate catching up. Because if there's one thing that I can hold onto with the New Sharon community, it is the few amazing people who I will always be connected to because of it.

That guy who's not in a relationship giving relationship advice

Yeah, I'm going to be... that guy.

But seriously...

I was on Facebook tonight, and I saw a girl posting pictures of her and her boyfriend. Her headline was: "Tomorrow, me and my best friend will have been together for one month!!!!"

I've just realized something about social media...

We use it as a way to reassure ourselves.

If you're posting a picture about how your 1-month anniversary with your boyfriend is tomorrow, then you're mainly trying to let the world know that you're in a relationship and that they should take you seriously now. Because you're a freshman, and you've been in "love" for one month, and "this is a big deal so look at this picture of me and my boyfriend and see how grown up I am".

The problem with this mentality is that it's falsifying what we call a "relationship". In a real relationship, you love someone, but you don't use that relationship as a way to boost your social status. It's like a Christian who constantly claims that they love Jesus, yet never attempts to have a real relationship with him. You can post every Bible verse you want, talk about how you went to church this morning, and talk about how Jesus will solve everyone's problems in the world, but unless you're actually exercising those words, then they are hollow. I'm not going to say that I've never done it, because I have, but this issue becomes so blatantly obvious when we compare it to things like going overboard for your 1-month anniversary.

Then again, maybe one month of dating really is an accomplishment nowadays. "Love" or whatever it is tends to be really loose and... dare I say, taken for granted in our culture? Perhaps one month actually is a big deal.

I guess I wouldn't really know. *wink*

Monday!

It's Monday at the University of Iowa!

I went to my 8:30 Calculus lecture this morning, and didn't understand a lick of the material. My professor continuously scribbled various notations, theorems, and equations onto the chalkboard, and I sort of had a gaping stare for most of that time. The handles on the clock never seemed to move... and he constantly reminded us that this stuff would be on the final exam. Yikes.

Despite this, I'm proud of myself for making it this far in the course. I could've dumped it in the first two weeks, but if I had done that, I would be behind in my math requirements for my major and I wouldn't have became such good friends with this guy that sits next to me.

Also, I'm done for the day! My Rhetoric professor canceled class because he was in Spain over the weekend and won't be back in time for our class.

You know what that means?

Time to procrast- I mean, study...

Have a happy Monday everyone!