The past seven days have been madness for me in every shape and form, so it was a little weird when I stepped back this morning, took a deep breath, and realized that the year was 2015.
I'll start with the rather huge elephant in the room...
On the third morning of 2015, I totalled my truck on I-80 because... wait for it... I fell asleep. I had been in Jacksonville Florida for the past three days, and gotten almost zero sleep, and I knew that I should not have been driving that late at night while I was that tired. I'll spare the details, but basically the front end of my truck was trashed while I walked away from it with zero scratches. Thankfully no other vehicles were involved, and the only damage done other than my vehicle were a few cable barriers in the center of the four-lane. I spent that night bawling while trying to go to sleep... partially because of what had happened, but partially because God chose to spare me in that moment, and I wanted a direct answer as to why. I could've died... and had I made the wrong move or drifted in the wrong direction, I most certainly would have.
But I didn't.
This is just one of the many reasons why my first week of 2015 has been spent in a state of chaotic emotional disarray. For some things, like that accident, the disarray is a lot me begging to God for an answer and expecting it right away. But I keep reminding myself that God is not the type of teacher who gives his students every question and answer that will be on their exam; no, He is the type of teacher that wants us to take the material that we've studied and learn something from it as opposed to just memorizing facts and figures.
Some of the disarray has been good, though. It's been good at allowing me to blossom in some relationships, clear out awkward barriers with others, and cut the ropes to some of them that just weren't working out (and even though that sounds bad, it's really not). The bowl trip was a chance for me to grow even closer to several of the members of my section, and it makes me all the more excited for another year of marching band at Iowa. The aftermath of the crash has also A) Taught me a lesson on something that I normally take for granted, and B) Has reinforced the fact that God has his hand in everything that we do. Because while the odds of me surviving that crash weren't in my favor, the odds of me walking away from it with zero injuries whatsoever is a miracle. And while I don't know what that means for me yet, I have never had more trust in God than I do right now.
7 unbelievable crazy days down... 358 to go.
BRING IT ON 2015.
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